Something about Larry
Larry is a big shot. He refused to get up when President Trump visited¹. He has actually pressed flesh with President Obama². He has been mentioned in official meeting and memos. The press has been writing about him for decades. Larry is supposed to be a civil servant, but he is often indifferent even when his superiors are around. A female coworker was even hired to cover for his duties.
So what does Larry do? He picks fights. He fought with the female coworker and a neighbour. He actually chased off a predator several time bigger than him³. Even though many of Larry’s antics were caught on camera, he has never been punished. The police have even been seen giving him a helping hand⁴. He lives off the largesse of hard-working people. He was born on the streets and now he terrorizes one.
For readers who have not caught on, Larry is fortunately not human. He is the Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office.
As rumour goes, he is not very good at his sole responsibility. He is not owned by the British prime minister. This is fortunate as he has outlasted four prime ministers. I guess there is some truth to cats having nine lives. He was caught on TV turning his back on a prime minister when she stroked him. A short while later, she lost her job.⁵ The cat’s distain is deadlier than the fabled monkey’s paw. Incidentally, Larry was kept out of public eye when Joe Biden visited. A cat may look at the king but you do not want it to influence American elections. This probably explains why the cat is coming out on top in tussles with the current prime minister’s dog.
Yes, Prime Minister
His predecessor was Humphrey. He actually had a pension when he retired.
For young readers, the British had two comedies in the 80s about the government. One of the characters was Sir Humphrey. He was a mandarin in the civil service who was coincidentally promoted when his minster was promoted to prime minister. Naturally, the show is called Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. Spoiler alert for idealistic young viewers. Getting a yes from a civil servant does not mean solving a problem.
There were less pictures of Humphrey in those days as handphones with cameras were uncommon. Unfortunately, the press had more “journalistic licence” back in those days. This resulted in more stories about Humphrey acting as Jack the Ripper. Humphrey did take literal gardening leave. He even made it to St Jame’s Park.
Larry the Londoner
¹Larry having a lie down on TV. He even prevented the “Beast” from making a clean getaway.
² Larry practicing diplomacy. No blood was shed during the meeting.
³ Larry can be very forceful in laying down his rules.
⁴ Larry getting help from the police.
⁵ Larry sensing the political wind. Or it smelt the rotting lettuce. The other lady is the prime minister of Denmark. Before anyone mentions about something rotten in Denmark, that phrase is a quote from the play Hamlet. The cat doth protests too much, methinks.