Losing Weight

Engsiong Tan
3 min readApr 6, 2022

The loss that people brag about

I recently lost weight. My solution is portion control. If you manage your portions, the pounds will drop off like magic. And before you click to another article, I will reveal my secret.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Truth is seldom what it seems. Skim milk masquerades as cream.

I had Covid-19 recently. I did not lost my sense of taste or smell. But I lost my appetite. Now, this is a very unique feeling. Usually, when I have no appetite, I am also felling unwell. Now, I do not feel poorly and I am not hungry. I do not suffer any symptoms of low blood sugar. Breakfast? I can live with a cup of coffee. Lunch? Can skip it without any issue. Dinner? It had better be something delicious or it is going to be optional.

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Hunger used to be an insatiable hole. It is now a crack that you need a magnifying glass to see. I use to look at food at the supermarket and feel a stirring within me. I now look at food as extra weight to be carried. Certain food use to call out to me. Their smell used to be able to turn my head. Now they just look like items that take up space on the shelves.

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For some people with food issues, this looks like a blessing. There is no unhealthy relation with food. The sin of gluttony starts to become an abstract historical problem.

But at the same time, losing the ability to desire the literal carrot is a problem. Meal times become complicated. Portions suddenly become too big. Desserts look like window dressing. Food craving is a forgotten concept. It is like losing the ability to appreciate music. Every song becomes background noise. A part of you dies without the stimulation.

But there was another problem. People start thinking you have a new issue with food. Is the food bad? Things not to my liking? Or am I on a new diet? Or not sharing a new snack?


I have tried all my favourite food. There is a spark. Unfortunately, this does not register in my brain which is used to dealing with daily raging fire. It is like having a good time at a buffet and then discovering where they hid your favourite dessert. Somehow it takes effort to consume the last dish.

Before anyone complains that I am picky about food, I must clarify that I have been in the army. I swallowed whatever that was served up. I am used to army rations that came in cans from the lowest bidders. I have no issues living off whatever that is near expiry.

I have tried exercise. I do get tired but the body is not able to make any connection with food. I am still able to feel thirst so I know that the lizard brain is still functioning.

I have also tried probiotics but that is also not working. My guts now deals with food like a suspicious package. It is either expelled explosively or kept for observation.